Bucket List

These are things I would like to experience or witness before I die. This list is not in any particular order.

1. Travel to Hawaii with the family.

2. Travel to Europe with the family.

3. Watch the girls graduate from high school and hopefully watch them graduate from college.

4. Walk Grace, Sarah and Mia down the aisle on their wedding day. Hopefully this will be on different days because I'm pretty sure my heart wouldn't be able to take it all in the same day. I suppose I should preface this wish with the idea that my girls marry someone that has their lives figured out and that the girls have grown into young ladies that are already living fulfilled lives.

5. Attend Aryel's graduation from college.

6. That Aryel will someday meet the guy that she is meant to marry and that I can be there when she gets married.

7. See Dave Matthews, or U2, or Coldplay perform at Red Rocks.

8. Go to the Grand Canyon with the family.

9. Visit Elizabeth in New Jersey.

10. Win a poker tournament at a Casino.

11. Travel to the Rain Forest.

12. Go to Australia.

13. Camp in Yellowstone with the family.

14. Visit Uncle Tim in Louisiana.

15. Play Poker in Atlantic City.

16. Watch the Angels win another World Series and attend one of the games.

17. Travel to Alaska.

18. Travel to Canada.

19. Play in a World Series of Poker event.

20. Go River Rafting again.

I'm sure there is more that I have thought about in the past, so I will have to add to this list later. Apparently, I really want to travel.

My Bucket List post-completion.

John Dutton read a wish list that Lucy had written out on yellow legal paper. It included some memorable items. Some of the things I can remember: family trip to Hawaii, car for Liana and Mark, new car for Melissa, T.V. room in the garage, outdoor carpet around the pool, new mattress, nose job, and a trip to Scotland. John was hysterical as he went through the list, gesturing check marks in the air when the wishes had been met, and shaking his head "no" when they weren't. Gary cracked everybody up, on the mattress wish, as he bellowed out "Cuz' they wore that thing out!!"

It was a great list and it got me thinking that I should do the same thing. With the added wrinkle of listing my currently completed wishes. So here goes, in no particular order, but still numbered for simplicity's sake.

Post-completion list with commentary:

1. Fly an airplane. My parents paid for me to fly a Cessna when I was 15. I even got to take-it off which was pretty cool.

2. Sky dive. Tracey wasn't too keen on this idea, but I explained that I was going to do this at some point in my life. I went sky diving as part of my Bachelor Party. My comment to Trace was you can either have a dead fiancee or a dead husband.

3. Run a marathon. In 1995 I ran the Disneyland Marathon and finished in 3:10 or 3:11. I was running 6:45 pace for the first 22 miles. The my left calf muscle cramped up and I was a mess after that.

4. Get married. 1999

5. Buy a house. 2001

6. Have kids. March 26, 2002 Grace and Sarah. October 25, 2005 Mia. I often get asked if I wished I had a boy. It's not really something I even think about. The only weird deal is that I wished that the Anderson name would get passed down. Hopefully, one of my siblings can make that happen.

7. Stay married to the same woman. So far so good. Read the last post. I do feel like we have a great relationship.

8. Be a supportive father. You'll have to ask the girls this question later in life.

9. Become a teacher and coach. Sixteen years and counting, although I stopped coaching once Mia was born. Now I'm coaching girls soccer. I got a terrific compliment last weekend from Butch Cheliah. He said that I made a big difference in Payton last season. I helped instill confidence in her ability. She went on to score three goals in a game last week. As far as teaching is concerned, I was Teacher of the Year at Diamond Ranch in 2009. I now have a handful of students that are teachers and even some former students that are Doctors.

10. At one point in coaching, my goal was to win League in Cross-Country and Track. It took a little while for this to happen at Wilson, but when the Boys team won League in 2000 it was the first time in over 25 years, and that team went on to CIF Finals. My coaching goals changed as time went on. They went from wanting to be League champs, to CIF Champs, to State Champs. The best Cross Country finish was 3rd in CIF and 9th in State. My last year coaching Track we were 2nd in CIF. We had individual CIF and State Champions on more than one occasion. There are times I miss coaching, but I don't miss the countless hours that it took to compete at such a high level. At this stage, I would rather watch my kids play soccer on a Saturday afternoon.

11. Graduate from College.

12. Earn my Master's Degree.

13. Travel in Europe. I took a year off of school in 1994 and back packed around Europe on my own for three months. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I traveled to England, Wales, Ireland, North Ireland, Scotland, Germany, Hungary, Austria, Spain, Monaco, France, and Belgium.

As I sit here and ponder my previous goals I can't really think of anything else major that I wanted to accomplish and have completed. I'm sure there were some other things that I had hoped for and then accomplished, but maybe not. This makes creating a future Bucket List all that more exciting. Hopefully, I'll type that up later today.

John and Lucy Dutton

Lucy Dutton passed away last week at the ripe old age of 81 years old. She was an amazing woman that brought joy to many different people. She was a wonderful wife, mom, friend and teacher. Her funeral was yesterday and the outpouring of love was perfect for someone so deserving. I probably first met Lucy and John the summer I first started dating Tracey in 1994. The Duttons had the kind of love for each other that someone like me strives for. As Melissa, Liana, and Mark eulogized Lucy yesterday it confirmed everything that I felt about this family already. Loving parents that wanted the best for their kids, and a couple that liked to have a good time. The kids talked about summers at the beach, parties in the backyard, and a mom that always went to their "gigs" even if they didn't want their mom there. Lucy was the life of the party. She had a way of making everyone feel welcome and a way of ensuring that everyone had a good time. I remember that same vivaciousness and in many ways it reminds me of Tracey. Tracey has a way of letting loose when it's time to have a good time. Which is pretty impressive for someone that is usually in bed by 9:00 most nights.

After the graveside service I had a chance to briefly talk with John. I waited awhile before I bothered him, but I had to tell him "thank you for setting such a wonderful example of a loving marriage." He had what I'm shooting for, I want to be married to Tracey in a loving relationship where we both grow old together and raise happy kids. He said "so far, it looks like you are heading in the right direction....people today forget that it takes compromise to make it work, they just give up when it gets too hard." Read that again in case you missed it. That's right, it turns out that sometimes relationships involve work...compromise. Today in church the message was about putting others needs before your own. People don't live that way today. I know...that's a total generalization, but seriously, if we thought about others before ourselves wouldn't that change our general perspective?

I've often said successful relationships aren't about finding the right person, but being the right person. In my life, my parents have been married seven times between the two of them. For me, that meant, a long time ago, that I had to figure out how to make it work in my relationships. "Picking the right person" is only a part of the equation. No one can fix you. I don't care what Coldplay says. There are people I wish I could fix, but my wife isn't one of them. I need to fix myself. I need to truly love others, put others first, think about how I can treat other people before being selfish. On a day to day basis, that means being there for my immediate family first. Then my students and coworkers. I need to be mindful of their needs. Obviously, I need to get my stuff together first, but I can't be so selfish that I don't think about what Tracey, Grace, Sarah, Mia, my mom, dad, etc. actually need. I can't fix anybody. But I can be that listening ear. The sounding board. Husband. Dad. Son. Teacher. Friend. The person that I need to be, depending on the situation.

I thank God, for the "Duttons" in my life. Even if they are few and far between. Thank you John and Lucy for setting the example of a truly meaningful realtionship. I can only pray that when I've been married to Tracey after 57 years I can crawl into her hospital gurney and envelope her with my love. Okay, I'll be honest, I hope it's me in the hospital bed first and Tracey is spooning my nearly lifeless body. And if it is, Tracey, can you please live for our kids and (future) grandkids. I'll see you soon enough. They still need you.

Ripple Effect #2

At the end of the school year Christine Rodriguez came to me and showed me a letter that Jenessa had written in her class after the Final Exam. Christine just had the students write about whatever they wanted once they finished the exam. Below is what Jenessa wrote.

"Personally I have really enjoyed my Junior Year and think it has been one of the best years of my life. I have had so many classes where I had to work hard and apply myself, but I learned so much about myself and how to treat others. I think one of the greatest experiences this year was getting to work with Amber and 11th grade special needs student. I sat next to her in 3rd period AP Biology and helped her do her assignments. It seriously was a roller coaster ride; some days I would be so happy because she understood the concept and there were others where I was really frustrated. I did all I could for her and can only hope I impacted her life as much as she did mine. I think it all became clear today when I walked into class dressed for my presentation and she just looked at me, a mixture of awe and respect in her eyes as she said 'Wow, you look pretty.' Coming from Amber, I knew that we had been through so much together and she really did respect me as a trusted friend."

If this doesn't demonstrate the impact of inclusion, then I don't know what does. Jenessa grew through this experience and so did Amber. In some way different kids got to experience something unique that hopefully will stick with them for a lifetime. I know this is true for Jenessa. She is such a great kid anyway, but the fact that she got to grow from all she experienced last year makes me extremely happy.

Bobby

Bobby has the best smile. He is all smile. Last year he brought more happiness to my class than any other student. Now he is in band playing the bass drum. He wanted to be in marching band so bad last year. This is probably one of the best examples of inclusion. During the first assembly I saw him banging away on the drum...in rhythm. He was so focused. And I was so proud. How cool is that he is in band.

Ripple Effect

Elliott is eating lunch with Claudia and the giraffes (Jazmin & Daniella). I know this means nothing to you, but to me it means that the full inclusion classes that Maizel and I taught have opened up friendships that would not have otherwise been possible. Just a little side note. Last weekend at church I was thinking about how much I need to blog all of these different things that have happened in the last year, but I wasn't sure if I should use actual names. If I don't use names though I'll forget. So, I'm using names, if you somehow read the random blog and you think this is a bad idea, then tell me. If I'm talking about you and you think I should use an alias let me know. I'm documenting for me more than anything else. So brace yourself. :) Or not. That sounds really ominous, and again no one else reads a blog that's updated every six months.

So back to using names. Elliott is one of the students that has been identified as having moderate to severe learning disabilities. To me he's just another kid with a big heart that wants to learn and doesn't want to disappoint anybody. His phrase last year was "I'm sorry." As in "I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson...I'm sorry, Justin." Usually there was no reason for him to be sorry. I'll never forget his presentation last year with Marty. He drew the most incredible drawings in their presentations.

Soccer Joy

The quick version for soccer this current season is that winning is more fun than losing. The first two games the girls have done so great. The team won the first two games. The first game they won Grace and Sarah had the biggest smiles of pure joy on their face. Sarah had an assist, and Grace had a great clear out on defense that helped create the winning goal. The second game Sarah positioned herself right in front of the goal and then scored. She thrust her little arms triumphantly in the air and then immediately looked at the sideline. She was so proud. You should have heard the tone in Tracey's voice "My Sarah just scored a goal...oh my gosh!" I'm pretty sure her voice cracked just a little bit. Of course I had the camera in hand and got no picture, because I was too busy screaming...okay, maybe I was a little proud too. :)